Living with Autism

Mea Culpa

Remember my Steps to being a special needs parent? - recently I had cause to return to the theme and examine the following. As usual they all look kind of the same:

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

For years now I would have been in the camp of wanting everyone else to make amends to me. Sorry but when you find out you have not one, but TWO kids with intensive behavioural needs you very quickly find out who you can count on and who will spectacularly and hurtfully let you down.


After 10 years - I have learned to let go of some of that feeling. 
Some of the people have apologised.
Some of the people have made up for it in other ways.
I guess some of them have realised what a selfish mongrel they were when they had their own childre…

At this time of year you might be lucky enough to be planning a holiday. And some of you, thanks to a negative experience in the past might be having trepidations - I have some advice that might make it easier and more enjoyable for everyone.


Firstly, don't feel you have to stay home. Because if it rains for 10 of the 14 days you have booked, you may find yourself cooped up in a holiday house with no broadband, no cable and the prospect of hanging around the local Supermarket for entertainment.

D'amusements do not work for people with high sensory needs, and they are expensive anyway. And Long walks in the Rain followed by an Irish Coffee in a local pub are for romantic weekends away. Not a family of 4 with no clothes dryer.


So take my advice and go somewhere sunny for your holidays. And fly!



1. Two Words: SELF CATER!


You will all be much happier. Where I come from, Full Board is something that you surf on at the beach, so I find it perplexing to hear anyone complaining about tak…

Remember my Steps to being a special needs parent? - recently I had cause to return to the theme and examine the following. As usual they all look kind of the same:
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 
For years now I would have been in the camp of wanting everyone else to make amends to me. Sorry but when you find out you have not one, but TWO kids with intensive behavioural needs you very quickly find out who you can count on and who will spectacularly and hurtfully let you down.

After 10 years - I have learned to let go of some of that feeling.  Some of the people have apologised.  Some of the people have made up for it in other ways.  I guess some of them have realised what a selfish mongrel they were when they had their own children and reali…